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I Met My Wife at a Murder Trial

December 12, 2019

True story--I met my wife at a murder trial. I was a detective working on the case, and she was a journalist covering the proceedings. I​

​ testified about finding the box of ammunition and a photo of the killer holding the murder weapon; she reported the story that night on the evening news. How’s that for romantic?


Yet, for us it’s kind of a perfect origin story. We both worked hard in professions that tend to view one another with suspicion, but our relationship thrived. Like a bizarro-world Romeo and Juliet story, many of our colleagues hated the idea. One of my supervisors, a paper-pushing captain who couldn’t do real police work if it didn’t come with a paint by number set, routinely accused us of collaborating to give her a leg up on breaking news (we didn’t). Some of her colleagues were equally less-than-thrilled that she was dating a guy they might be reporting on during a

ny given news cycle. They would’ve pulled us apart if they could, which only served to help us enjoy and appreciate our relationship that much more.​

The tenth anniversary of our first date passed this last weekend.  I took her to a barbecue joint that first evening a decade ago. Turns out she’d never cared much for that restaurant (oops), but we had a great time and spent hours talking after we ate. We’ve seen each other nearly every day since then and, as far as I’m concerned, we’re still on that first date.​

​I’ve asked much of her over the last decade (and in eight years of marriage). For one thing, being a cop’s spouse is ten times tougher than being a cop. At least when I was on duty I knew what I was facing. A cop’s significant other, however, must live with the daily burden of wondering and dread. Bless her and every cop’s wife or husband out there; they all deserve a medal. As if that weren’t enough, she was there every day as I fought cancer. She nursed me, fed me through a tube, and caressed my soul on those days when being a tough guy seemed beyond reach. Good times and bad, sickness and health…yep, she’s done all that in style and spades.​

Exactly one lifetime ago I spied a gorgeous reporter scrutinizing me as I testified at a murder trial. Little did I know she’d become my best friend, the mother to my sons, a dandy dance and adventure partner, and an extraordinary woman who shares my hopes and dreams. Score another one for the American criminal justice system.


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